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Face Your Financial Fears Dr. Judith Briles |
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No one is born with a fear of or attitude towards money. Fears and attitudes--be they good, bad, or ugly--develop over time. No doubt, your upbringing is a major contributing factor. Past experiences--successes and failures--also play a critical role. Then there's society--whether it comes through the media, common practices, your friends, family, or even the government. In spite of a myriad of influences, however, let's face it: you are the steward of your money--you are in charge of its destiny. So what are your fears? Being poor? Making mistakes? In my book, 10 Smart Money Moves for Women, I identify 10 financial fears, 5 of which I describe below. See where you fit in and read my next article which covers the other 5 fears. The Fear of Being Poor In 1985, one of USA Today's headlines read, "Bag Lady Fears Drive Women to Stash Cash." Not a lot has changed for many women since I clipped that gem for my "nudge" file. The #1 fear that women shared over the past year in my “$mart Money” workshops is becoming destitute when they are older. Is being poor really a concern for today's woman? You bet. Government statistics show that for every 100 women and men who reach 65, only two are financially independent. How do the rest survive? By relying on relatives, the government, friends, or working until they die. What an unfortunate and seemingly unnecessary prospect for a modern society in the midst of a booming economy. Women live longer than men. A fact that means that women are more likely to spend far more years just barely getting by than men if they don't step into the money maze and learn how to navigate on their own. Forget about being rescued by a white knight. It's nothing more than a media-driven myth. The reality is that whether you are rich, poor, or in-between, the person that you are going to have to rely on the most to keep you from the poorhouse is you--your creativity, imagination, intuition, and smarts. The Fear of Losing Money Losing money is scary for anyone, but women are more fearful of losing money than men. Why? First, men typically earn more money than women do and therefore feel as if they have more to invest. Moreover, if men lose money in a bad investment, their reaction--that it can be replaced--differs from many women who may exaggerate the loss’ significance in their overall financial situation. Women are also less likely to take the more aggressive and riskier financial positions that men do. Risk-taking, in part, has to do with a man’s familiarity with money. Men, in contrast to women, are generally exposed to the subject of money early on and by the time they reach adulthood, the topic is no longer unfamiliar or intimidating. Working with and investing money does not have to be a giant leap into the unknown. In fact, it's wiser to start with small steps. Whether it's putting money in a mutual fund (many funds allow you to start with as little as $100 if you commit to contributing a minimal amount on a monthly basis) or a fund for your children’s education, small amounts can build into fortunes. The Fear of Looking Stupid The good news about money mistakes is that they can be valuable learning opportunities after the crisis has passed. Once you become more confident in your decisions and accept that you will stumble once in a while, you will be able to assess your financial situation quickly and rationally and focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the mistakes. The Fear of Talking About Money The Fear of Making Mistakes and Failing The unsurprising truth is that mistakes happen. What you do about them is up to you: will they cripple and paralyze you? Or will you look on them as facts of life that provide learning and growth opportunities? Making money mistakes and experiencing failures won't destroy you, but allowing yourself to get stuck mentally could cause more lasting damage. The key is to determine:
For most of us, financial fears are both powerful and deep-seated. By recognizing your own fears and how they operate on you, you can begin to cut them down to size and use their force for something much more worthwhile--taking charge of your financial well-being. Click here to read part two of Face Your Financial Fears! Judith Briles, Ph.D. is a speaker, columnist, and award-winning author of 20 books including 10 Smart Money Moves for Women and Smart Money Moves for Kids. She can be reached at 303-627-9179 and e-mailed at DrJBriles@aol.com. Her Web site is www.briles.com.
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