No one is born with a fear of or attitude towards money. Fears and
attitudes--be they good, bad, or ugly--develop over time. No doubt, your
upbringing is a major contributing factor. Past experiences--successes and
failures--also play a critical role. Then there's society--whether it comes
through the media, common practices, your friends, family, or even the
government.
In spite of a myriad of influences, however, let's face it: you are the
steward of your money--you are in charge of its destiny. So what are your
fears? Being poor? Making mistakes? In my book, 10 Smart Money Moves for
Women, I identify 10 financial fears, 5 of which I describe below. See
where you fit in and read my next article which covers the other 5 fears.
The Fear of Being Poor
In 1985, one of USA Today's headlines read, "Bag Lady Fears Drive Women
to Stash Cash." Not a lot has changed for many women since I clipped that gem
for my "nudge" file. The #1 fear that women shared over the past year in my
“$mart Money” workshops is becoming destitute when they are older.Is being poor really a concern for today's woman? You bet. Government
statistics show that for every 100 women and men who reach 65, only two are
financially independent.
How do the rest survive? By relying on relatives, the government, friends, or
working until they die. What an unfortunate and seemingly unnecessary prospect
for a modern society in the midst of a booming economy.
Women live longer than men. A fact that means that women are more likely to
spend far more years just barely getting by than men if they don't step into the
money maze and learn how to navigate on their own. Forget about being rescued by
a white knight. It's nothing more than a media-driven myth.
The reality is that whether you are rich, poor, or in-between, the person
that you are going to have to rely on the most to keep you from the poorhouse is
you--your creativity, imagination, intuition, and smarts.
The Fear of Losing Money
At some point, everyone loses money--from a bad investment, inflation erosion,
or a failure to act or make a decision.
Losing money is scary for anyone, but women are more fearful of losing money
than men. Why? First, men typically earn more money than women do and therefore
feel as if they have more to invest. Moreover, if men lose money in a bad
investment, their reaction--that it can be replaced--differs from many women who
may exaggerate the loss’ significance in their overall financial situation.
Women are also less likely to take the more aggressive and riskier financial
positions that men do. Risk-taking, in part, has to do with a man’s familiarity
with money. Men, in contrast to women, are generally exposed to the subject of
money early on and by the time they reach adulthood, the topic is no longer
unfamiliar or intimidating.
Working with and investing money does not have to be a giant leap into the
unknown. In fact, it's wiser to start with small steps. Whether it's putting
money in a mutual fund (many funds allow you to start with as little as $100 if
you commit to contributing a minimal amount on a monthly basis) or a fund for
your children’s education, small amounts can build into fortunes.
The Fear of Looking Stupid
No one wants to appear or feel foolish. Yet, when it comes to money strategies
and decisions, many women fear that the wrong move or outcome will serve to
broadcast that they blew it and don't know what they’re doing. Of course that
doesn't happen, but the fear can be inhibiting.
The good news about money mistakes is that they can be valuable learning
opportunities after the crisis has passed. Once you become more confident in
your decisions and accept that you will stumble once in a while, you will be
able to assess your financial situation quickly and rationally and focus on
finding solutions rather than dwelling on the mistakes.
The Fear of Talking About Money
Your upbringing will most likely play the largest role in shaping your money
practices. It’s a broad generalization, but it’s also true: most women grew up
in homes in which money discussions were avoided or restricted to parents only.
Money may have been mentioned but rarely discussed in a positive and productive
manner. As a result, women never received the necessary training and guidance
about money and investing. And the practice that started within the family is
then perpetuated by the woman herself: "If I don't talk about money or
acknowledge it, it won't be a problem in my life."
By talking about money and sharing your experiences and outcomes with other
women and men, you will discover how much there is to learn and how much you
have to contribute to the conversation.
The Fear of Making Mistakes and Failing
I wish I had $10 for every mistake I've made over the past 50 years. Although
most women believe they’ve had their fair share in the mistake and failure
departments, it doesn't erase the stigma that mistakes and failures can bring.
The unsurprising truth is that mistakes happen. What you do about them is up
to you: will they cripple and paralyze you? Or will you look on them as facts of
life that provide learning and growth opportunities? Making money mistakes and
experiencing failures won't destroy you, but allowing yourself to get stuck
mentally could cause more lasting damage. The key is to determine:
- What happened?
- What factors could you control, influence, or alter?
- What factors were out of your control?
- What did you learn from the experience, both bad and good?
For most of us, financial fears are both powerful and deep-seated. By
recognizing your own fears and how they operate on you, you can begin to cut
them down to size and use their force for something much more worthwhile--taking
charge of your financial well-being.
Click here to read part two of Face Your Financial Fears!
Judith Briles, Ph.D. is a speaker, columnist, and award-winning
author of 20 books including
10 Smart Money Moves for Women and
Smart Money Moves for Kids. She can be reached at 303-627-9179 and
e-mailed at DrJBriles@aol.com.
Her Web site is
www.briles.com.
|